Alaskan Bulgarian

The Cat and Basketball

We start today with, by popular demand, cat pictures:

This is Yuli's version of wrestling. As the relatives have properly warned, a cat that attacks hands, limbs. etc. is liable to keep attacking said limbs throughout his or her life, but hand wrestling has become pretty ritualized.

It isn't a sudden attack anymore, but a procedure. Yuli hops up on a chair or ottoman while I'm sitting on the couch and stares at me for a little while. When I realize that she wants to play, I lift my hand into what I guess seems to represent something she'd hunt if she weren't restricted to the horrid confines of a Whiskas diet and the occasional unlucky housefly. Then she rears up on her hind legs, gives a "meow" if my hand's too far away (She'll also "meow" if I bring up both hands, I guess out of confusion), and lunges at the gap between my index finger and thumb. The way I play, she wins if she gets her mouth on the gap, I win if I push her back onto the chair or ottoman. This was a win for Yuli, pretty much because I wanted to get the picture. She never really sinks her teeth in, she only gives enough of a bite to ensure her "victory" over the hand.

Yuli likes to nest in plastic bags. It's cute. Awwww.

Yuli went through a phase where she wanted to end the fan. It's mostly ended as she's realized the fan's benifits and seen that defeating it would mean far too much trouble from the the fan. She's still absolutely scared to death of hair dryers, so my hair dryer has been my primary form of discipline. If she does something wrong, the dryer blows. This is only a long range solution, of course, if I do it while she's on me or in my hands, I leave with many more scratches than when I started.

So, that out of the way, we move on to the U.S. basketball team. Halfway through the "win" over Greece Tuesday night, I had an epiphany. A realization that can only come from watching Tim Duncan foul out in an international game. Many people, including Bill Simmons, and earlier, myself, have credited the horrible selection process to general laziness and stupidity on the part of USA Basketball's selection. Watching Greece almost win caused the light to break through for me, though: this is all by design.

USA Basketball is linked as closely as any organization can be with the NBA. This isn't like Bush and the Saudi Royal family, there's no room for manipulation here, there are daily memos being sent around between both groups. You'd think then, that the NBA would have some incentive in seeing our guys win and win well. However, with a big comma, the NBA really wants to avoid the big bully idea.

In 1992, the US dominated like no other basketball team ever will. Michael Jordan, Magic, Bird, Barkley, they all knew how to play and play as a team. There were even some people on the team, and you won't believe this, but there were people on that team who could shoot. I know, it's hard taking that in when Greece actually plays off Jason Richardson, watching him miss 3 after 3 after 3. And when the two British Eurosport announcers, two guys who sounded like they were trying to figure out this silly little sport as they went, were saying every two minutes that the US needed to shoot themselves out of the Greek zone, it was difficult to remember a US team that had a guy like Chris Mullin on top of Bird, Stockton, Drexler, and, of course, Jordan, who--in the NBA--usually made fadeaways from the international 3-point line. But such was the case. In 1992, the US team did more than throw weak alley-oops straight to the Greeks.

In '96 there was Shaq. I think some other guys played with him. The '96 team had a hard time against the college kids (led by Duncan, fascinatingly enough), falling 17 back in the third quarter before the win, but they really didn't have too much trouble in the Games. That, too, was planned by the NBA as international exposure was still, obviously, needed. I think Luke Longley was the best international player back then. So, America once again taught the rest of the world how the game was played.

Then, in Sidney, the zipper started showing on the monster costume. Vince Carter had a nifty dunk on the French quelle horror!, and they did win every game, but there were a few close calls. They started showing all of the weaknesses and laziness we've come to associate with USA Basketball. The players were still probably USA Basketball's choices, but it was obvious something needed to be done.

Because by that time basketball was huge internationally and people knew how to play. International players were coming from every country and each team had at least a star, if not a full-fledged superstar like Dirk Nowitski. At the World Championships in 2002 the US got whomped. And although every major American player swore revenge, it was usually only if the coach were someone they wanted to be coached by. So now we have a team “led” by Allen Iverson.

This isn’t to say bigger and better players weren’t invited, but they weren’t exactly forced and this is all about marketing anyway…so USAB really doesn’t care. After all, British Eurosport is showing two games of basketball a day, and as many of the “dream” team games as possible, and the British announcers are really starting to put the sardonic twist on “dream.” By my estimation, a British cable network showing two games of basketball a day during the Olympics is roughly equivalent to ESPN showing a cricket match on a Saturday during college football season. (And as an aside, with every day that slips by without a British gold medal—and they still don’t have one yet—the announcers are getting more ironic, more sarcastic, and more desperate whenever a British athlete comes up to bat. I have a feeling the two absolutely brilliant swimming guys are going to beat some members of the British swim team to death after these games. They sound just that disappointed.)

England may not be the world’s largest market, but markets outside the US is what the NBA cares about right now. It’s why Del Harris is coaching the Chinese team. By the time the Olympics get to Beijing, that team is going to be good. Maybe not gold good, but better than the Yao vs. 5 guys situation they’re in now. The NBA hopes to own China by 2008 and that’s just what they’re doing. The entire nation of Greece was drooling at the chance their team had against America’s team. Thursday night, Australia saw their chances for beating America go beyond Ian Thorpe, if only for a couple of hours.

Basketball, at least for the next two Olympics, won’t be about who wins or loses. It’ll be about the Americans pulling their punches until somebody comes around who can legitimately challenge them. Like a bigger friend keeping his buddy in the game just so he’ll come back and play tomorrow, America is keeping the rest of the world hooked on basketball. Football, American style, may still be the number one sport in America, but our best exporters are still the guys running basketball, and these Olympics are showing why.

And one more cat picture, you know, for the road.

Posted by Rob at August 20, 2004 04:57 PM