A couple of months ago I asked my Bulgarian tutor to start coming up with short stories for me to read. With short stories I could see new words and phrases, their context, and also pick up some of the finer points of grammar. This has worked out pretty well. Every lesson is a new story and a new glimpse into Bulgarian culture. After every lesson she has me write a 10 line story similar to the one we just read, so I've also gotten very good at dreaming up and writing in Bulgarian very short fairy tales on the spot.
Most of the stories we've been reading lately have been about a fellow called Hitur Peter, or "Clever Peter". Pete's a smart kid, with an intellect not unlike Bugs Bunny's, who helps out the mentally disadvantaged while outsmarting the rich or mean. So far I've read stories where Pete has proven that his boss' wife doesn't love him as much as his dog; stolen pears from a Bulgarian Scrooge while pretending to be an angel; returned a collection of fez hats to their merchant after a gang of monkeys had stolen them; and twice outsmarted an Anatolian Turk who thought he was smarter than everyone.
Today's (the one about the Turk) was pretty typical and classic Hitur Peter. The Turk travels to Bulgaria to challenge Peter to a duel of lies. Peter starts the challenge while holding up a fence he's repairing. He agrees to the match, but asks the Turk to hold up the fence while he runs to the house to grab his bag of lies. The Turk, honorable and brilliant man that he is, agrees to the request and Peter runs off around town, chatting up the ladies and having a good time. HITUR PETER: 1 TURK: 0
The next day, the p.o'd Turk asks Peter to take a walk through a forest. He tells Peter that in Turkey there are two suns, the rabbits lay eggs in the upper reaches of trees, and the donkeys fly on fast wings. Peter, clever boy that he is, doesn't buy any of it. All the lying makes the Turk hungry and the two of them see a rich guy hanging out around his sheep. Peter lays a footstep trail that inspires the rich guy to go after his shoes while Peter grabs one of the sheep and bolts.
The Turk and Peter get to Peter's house and Peter tells the Turk that he isn't going to get any of the sheep. The Turk doesn't believe it, and moments later Pete says he needs to go to the kitchen to grab some salt. In the kitchen he shouts something about the rich guy being there and beating him and that the rich guy is coming after the Turk (All of this made me think of the scene in The Godfather where Michael offs the police chief and Solazzo. If you can think of two reasons why, you get a cookie). The Turk buys it and bolts (PETER: 2 TURK: 0) and the narrative uses a very interesting line. Translated it reads: "The Turk spat on his heels and ran." Unfamiliar with those who spit on their heels, I asked my tutor about it. She said that, like those who spit on their hands before heavy-lifting, a runner would do the same before running. It's a figure of speech, and an interesting one at that. The story pretty much ends there. Peter is victorious and the Turk is on his soggy-footed way back to Turkey.
After some questions about the story, my tutor then asked me to write a similar tale about two liars. I thought a bit, and came up with this (mind you, it was on the spot and in Bulgarian):
Two Americans are living in Bulgaria. One's called Paul and the other Bill. They both think they're smart fellows. Bill tells Paul that he could fall from from the seventh floor of a block without injury. Paul, unfamiliar with the world of Bulgarian apartment blocks, believes him and Bill jumps. Bill suffers the fate of all who jump from the seventh floor of any building. Paul is distraught, he's on the losing side of a very good lie and has no chance of getting Bill back because, well, Bill's dead. So he thinks day and night and comes up with a plan. He shouts at the top of his lungs "I'll never see you again, Bill!"
80 years later, in the afterlife of your choice, Bill sees Paul and comes up to him. "It was a great lie, Paul. I believed it until just now." THE END.
I don't know. My tutor thought it was fiunny. And like every one of the stories I get from my own students, it has death as a primary plot point. It can make for morbid reading, but what's a guy gonna do? At least they're dealing with mortality. One student of mine even had his hero's girlfriend get it in the head with a falling icicle. What's a little falling from great heights when you have girls getting killed by icicles?
So we have lying, death, and stealing as principal themes in Bulgarian storytelling. Can't argue with that. It's probably better than the witch-killing in Hansel and Gretel or Snow White, or the almost ritual maimings of Looney Tunes. Maybe we all have to grow up with a little cartoon violence.
Posted by Rob at October 18, 2004 06:42 PM